Guys, we only have one life to live!
Just one.
And we need to live it the way we want to. Not the way someone expects us to or someone says we should.
We obviously can’t neglect our responsibilities. But we can minimise the unwanted expectations, the noise of “shoulds”.
What do you think?
I've chosen my whimsical self-care tips based on their usefulness. I prefer to treat them as playful, as whimsy. Then my mischievous brain might pay attention to them. This trick might work for you too.
1. Learn to Say "No" Gracefully
Saying no should be a proper science, alongside physics and chemistry. Because you need to be brave and comfortable when doing it. Humans are people pleasers by nature. Saying no is akin to dropping a kitty into a bucket of ice water. Kitties don’t like water, especially icy.
Tips to help you say no. The trick is not to say “no”:
Say ‘yes’ instead.
I know, sounds counter-intuitive. But if you start your “no” with a “yes”, it won’t sound too harsh to you and your opponent.
You have plans for this evening, but your best friend wants to let her hair down.
-Let’s go out tonight!
-Yes, what a great idea! But how about tomorrow? I heard this bar is doing 2 for 1 on Saturday afternoons.
You see what is happening here? Noone is disagreeing, just offering an alternative. Only stubborn people would not go with such an alluring alternative.
Use humour
-Let’s go out tonight!
-I wish there was a magic door I could use to be in two places at the same time!
Again, you are not letting your friend down by saying no. But you have plans, so not today, that's all you are saying.
For more tips, I recommend you watch this short video.
2. Lower your expectations
This might sound easy. And it will be once you turn it into a regular practice.
Life is full of tasks, opportunities, activities. You simply cannot excel at them all. By lowering your expectations, you are giving yourself a grace and allowing yourself to be present without rushing around and chasing after illusive perfection.
It’s your child’s birthday and her friends’ birthday parties were a blast! Entertainers, bouncy castles, elaborate snack choices, the most amazing 300 layered cakes! How do you beat that? Well, you can't and you should not try.
The thing is, your child will not care at all, especially young one, if their party is different. All they want is an opportunity to run around with their friends screaming like headless chicken. When they are older and have their own expectations, it’s a topic for a different conversation. Give your child a place and an opportunity to be silly, happy and free. The rest is nomenclature (yep, love this word, please look it up, you won’t regret it).
3. Be present
That enormous to-do list makes you want to run for the hills. I get it. Let’s throw it out of the window. Maybe not literally. Put it away once or twice a week. The plan is to be present in whatever is happening right now.
Life is so short and if you spend all of it in your head planning things, when will you live?
I suggest something truly whimsical: call it “my carefree time” and put in your calendar, like it's something big and important. Stay in that state for as long as you can manage. It might be 5 minutes per week to begin with. Then add another 10 minutes. And in a few months’ time, you’ll be a total pro of carefree me-time.
Be carefree one day per week. And trust me, that one day will help you achieve much more.
I know it’s difficult, especially for perfectionists and control freaks amongst us (me and me).
Final Thoughts on 3 Whimsical Self-Care Tips To Live A Happier Life
You will teach yourself to have fun by lowering expectations and using humour more often.
You might even learn to be more productive along the way. An ability to be present will give you an opportunity live the life you are in and enjoy it.
Allowing yourself to have some carefree me-time will help you recharge your batteries and have a fresh perspective.